Take the worst coach from each BCS conference, throw ‘em together into one Worst Coach Playoff, and who “wins” the WoW (Worst of the Worst) Award? The last place finisher in the playoff is the Worst BCS Coach in the Country.

That’s the premise here, in any case. Why do it? Because a coach’s perceived abilities in his profession correlates to his draw of team and conference, and that bears consideration. For example, would Sylvester Croom, whose perenially miserable Mississippi State Bulldogs be able to knock out the worst of the ACC or Big East? We never get the chance to know, because these teams will likely never face each other unless they manage to play in a low-tier bowl. And the chances of that happening are slim to none.

We’ll be dividing this up into slivers by conference. The full list of BCS conferences:

• ACC (Atlantic Coast Conference)
• Big XII
• Big East
• Big Ten
• Pac-10 (Pacific Ten Conference)
• SEC (Southeastern Conference)

Now, an entirely unscientific selection of coaches from each conference.

Part I: ACC

Teams: Boston College, Clemson, Duke, Florida State, Georgia Tech, Maryland, Miami (FL), North Carolina, NC State, Virginia, Va Tech, Wake Forest

Worst coaches selection:

In some ways, the ACC is an especially tough one to judge because the conference is in a state of flux. Longtime powerhouses, FSU and Miami, have struggled these past years. Meanwhile, Wake Forest and Virginia Tech have been on the rise. Wake and Va Tech both logged double-digit win season in ‘06 (Va Tech: 10-3, WF: 11-3) while the ‘Noles and the ‘Canes were barely able to combine for over ten wins. Va Tech’s Frank Beamer and Wake Forest’s Jim Grobe are safe from the dubious honor of being selected to play in the 2007 Worst Coaches Conference Playoff.

Since Randy Shannon has yet to prove himself and Bobby Bowden, loathe though we are to give him a pass, has a thirty year resume which precludes him from ever being labeled the worst at anything, they are exempt. So, too, is newly installed Butch Davis at UNC, whom I seriously doubt will ever be in contention for this playoff.

Baby (Tommy) Bowden has been marginally effective at Clemson; consistently doing just enough to keep the Tigers’ fan base clinging on to their hopes of moving from the ranks of “decent” to “good.”

Maryland’s ‘06 record was 9-4. Megacoach Ralph Friedgen is safe.

Boston College won 10 games in unspectacular fashion, although they too are now pregnant with a new coach after Tom O’Brien left to go to NC State — which also grants the Wolfpack a waiver.

The Roof is on fire

That leaves only Duke, Virginia, and Georgia Tech. As tempting as it is to pick Chan Gailey for his frustratingly, almost unnerving ability to consistently do less with more, the obvious choice here is Duke’s Ted Roof. Roof’s 2006 outing is his worst since his December 2003 hire: 0-12. Roof wasn’t exactly off to a good start, either, going 2-9 in 2004, and 1-10 in ‘05.

There’s a certain awful, poetic rhythm to winning 2, then 1, then zero games in three seasons. Roof’s three wins came via Virginia Military in ‘05, and Clemson and The Citadel in 2004. The Devils’ 16-13 victory over the Tigers was by far the biggest win of Roof’s short stint as head coach at Duke.

In some ways, though, we’re impressed by Roof. It takes a man of massive intestinal fortitude to survive some of the Devils’ close losses in ‘06, any of which would have been the equivalent of a “signature win” at Duke: a 45-44 loss to John Bunting’s lame-duck UNC administration; a frustrating 20-15 loss against the formerly mighty Miami Hurricanes; and a 14-13 loss to eventual conference champion Wake Forest. By the same token, the Devils lost 13-0 to Richmond, 36-0 to Virginia Tech, and 37-0 to Virginia. Against Top 25 teams, Duke was never competitive.

Ted Roof, for going 3-31 in three years, you win the ACC Worst of the Worst nomination.

Next up: the Big XII.