Orange and Blue Hue » Nuggets Big Man to Play for Alma Mater

Nuggets Big Man to Play for Alma Mater

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THE ASSOSIATED PRESS -

Ever wish you could relive the glory days of college? Today, one lucky, overpaid man will get the chance to do just that.

In an unprecedented move, the NCAA has granted permission for Denver Nuggets center Marcus Camby to suit up for his alma mater, the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, for the NIT semifinal game against the Florida Gators.

“Billy Donovan needs to learn a lesson about humility.” remarked head coach Travis Ford. “UF is weak around the low post, and bringing Marcus back was a prudent decision.”

“We don’t want to witness the making of another UCLA-type dynasty.”

The move gives UMass a feared inside prescence to counter Florida center Marreese Speights. Camby provides the perfect complement to swingman Gary Forbes, who leads the team with 19.5 points per game. Needless to say, most bookies have UMass winning in a blowout.

Upon further comment, Donovan was so irate that we had to edit out considerable portions of the transcript for vulgarity.

“Travis Ford is a ****ing b******! Everyone ****ing knows you can’t do this **** in college ball! This is ****ing bull****! Who do those guys think they ****ing are?? He’s lost his ****ing eligibility, a******s!”

The NBA’s season leader in shot blocks, Camby was drafted second overall in 1996. He has played for the Toronto Raptors, the New York Knicks (an added bonus), and the Denver Nuggets in 12 seasons in the NBA.

But Billy is not going down without a fight. The latest rumors have former Gator and current Knick David Lee spotted at Donovan’s most recent practice. Caught in its own web of hypocrisy, the NCAA will likely vote to include Lee in the Gator lineup for the sake of PR.

Either way, college sports may never be the same.

Vincent Gagliano contributed to this report

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APRIL FOOLS!!

Happy 4/1, guys.

lol. f*****g hilarious!

In other April Fools’ Day news, the Florida basketball program is considered more of a power than the Blue and White…

Meanwhile, test results have confirmed that, as was rumored, IU’s Jordan Crawford really IS better than brother Joe.

Daniel, UF will never be considered to be a better program than Duke…

Even gates know that…

Good Luck in the NIT a$$*oles!

So will Daniel and the Boatman be rooting for UF to win tonight as conference brethren? Or to lose, so they can come talk trash on the board tomorrow?

In other April fool’s news…

“Daniel is no longer having sexual relations with his sister, cousin, great aunt, and brother in Lexington, KY. Reports state that he has given up his drinking habits and has found a job working for the University of Florida Grounds Crew as part of UF’s experiment with homosexual gorillas. Students hope to prove that by taking it out of it’s natural environment in Lexington, a gorilla can be made to pick up trash and chat on the internet without having the urge to bone Albert, the Gators’ infamous mascot. So far, the program has proven to be a success as Daniel has only managed to sexually harass one of the campus’s live alligators. Daniel has been spotted in the library attempting to use the “wurld wide inturnate web” that the students have used as a treat for good behavior. Daniel is particularly fond of one website that blogs about Gator sports. Experts believe he is trying to find Albert. If you spot comments from him, please contact the program leader. Daniel is armed, but not dangerous. Stay tuned for further developments.”

No word on weather he has a man-crush on Adolph Rupp.

Meanwhile, he must not be exposed to news of UK’s NBA flops (Sam Bowie, Jamal Mashburn, Pat Riley [as a player], Antoine Walker, Tony Delk, Alex Groza, Ralph Beard etc.) Patrick Ewing, Mike Bibby, Dwayne Wade, or Dan Haskins as part of the study.

Meanwhile, University of San Francisco head coach Eddie Sutton has been spotted around Daniel’s cage. The latter had to be subdued with tranquilizers upon hearing that the visitor was involved in a major recruiting scandal at UK.

Everybody knows I wouldn’t give up drinking…but…in unrelated news…a Florida fan said they would not take Spurier back as coach…Danny Wurfel was considered a real NFL prospect and Eddie Fogler agreed to shake hands with Billy D, citing his clean recruiting practices.

Meanwhile, Andre Woodson’s football grooviness was stolen by Louisville’s Brian Brohm.

Meanwhile, the gators just lost to a team called Uass and Calathes shot like shit going 5 for 19.

You guys are on a roll.

A quick question - why did Huertas transfer? Seems like poor, poor timing on his part.

Ski - tough call, root for an in conference foe or a team coached by a former player? Sorry, I was rooting for Travis Ford, instead of against UF. That being said I only watched the final 1:30 of the game.

I think Huertas was upset about his lack of playing time. He wold have gotten plenty this season!

Has anyone ever seen a softer big man than Alex Tyus? He is the weakest “big man” I have ever seen. He gets manhandled on defense and gets shoved around underneath by much smaller players.

Oh well - time to focus on football.

If you are focusing on football here is some UF news:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/football/ncaa/03/31/harvin.florida.ap/index.html

Tough loss, Gators. I was looking forward to the UF/tOSU final.

And this is a nice April Fool’s joke. I was going to write a story on Fire Billy about Gillispie taking the Oklahoma State Job, but with the passing of Mr. Wildcat, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Try some of these on for size next time:

Louisville’s David Padgett realizes the error of his ways, transfers to Kentucky to be like Scott Padgett (no relation).

Tubby Smith to coach the New York Knicks.

Rick Pitino encourages Billy Donovan to seek FSU job, tells him coaching a rival school is nothing new.

NCAA strips Lute Olsen of 1997 national championship for no good reason, giving Kentucky the second national championship three-peat in college basketball history.

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