Apparently the Miami metropolitan area is suffering through one of the largest outbreaks of crack addiction in recent memory.  The evidence of this outbreak is in the multitude of Hurricane Bloggers making obviously drug induced statements lately.  Consider Gary Ferman of Canesport Magazine who found himself on the Rivals Radio show with Bill King shortly before the BCS Title Game.  While trying to inform the audience of the state of the Miami Hurricanes he chatted with Bill about the offensive coordinator position which had been open since Patrick Nix was fired.

Mr. Ferman stated that UM was looking for a coordinator to run a “conventional”, “pro-style” offense.  The thought within the program was that while the spread had grown in popularity nationwide the DEFENSES of the ACC made it impractical.  That’s right, he said the great defenses of the ACC would keep the spread from being effective.  And he didn’t stop there.  The REASON for the great defenses was because of the TREMENDOUS coaches found in the ACC.  (I’ll give everyone a minute to get back into their chairs now).

Are you kidding me Mr. Ferman?  The great COACHES of the ACC?  That’s a new one.  How many coaches in the ACC have won National Titles?  Let’s see there’s . . . Bobby Bowden . . . . ummmm . . . hmmm . . . . did I mention Bobby Bowden?  That’s right.  The only coach in the ACC who has a National Championship has averaged just under 8 wins a season over the last 4 years.  Mmmmm . . . IMPRESSIVE!  To be honest the best coach in the ACC is probably Virginia Tech’s Frank Beamer who’s only been in the conference for 5 seasons.  Yet these incredible football minds are the architects of some of the greatest college defenses ever devised by man.

Why sure, now I get it.  The spread can work in some of the lesser conferences like the SEC, Big 12, Pac 10, etc, but if you try to run the spread in the ACC . . . well forget you buddy.  You’re lookin at some hard times when those ferocious Wake, North Carolina and Clemson defenses start swarming to the ball.  Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever heard such a load of crap in my life.  If O&BHUE had a BS Award of the Year Mr Ferman, you’d be the fruntrunner.

Face it Ferman, as Mulder used to say, “The Truth is Out There”.  Miami is looking to hire a pro style coordinator for several reasons.  The first is that Shannon, who’s beginning to tread on thin ice, doesn’t believe in that fancy shmancy, new age, high fulootin, spread offense.  You usually aren’t going to be a fan of something you don’t understand.  The other reason is that the University of Miami doesn’t sell “Team Unity” or “Championships” to recruits, they sell “The League“.  Go to Miami and go to the NFL.  “Take a look at all of our former players who went there, we can get you there too!”

The “pro-style” offense is a major talking-point during recruiting.  It’s not like Miami is going to out-spread the nation’s elite teams who are already running a spread offense.  Miami became famous running a pro-style offense and they are content to ride it either to future success or to future mediocrity.  The reason it took Miami so long to hire an offensive coordinator is both a combination of finding a “pro-style” coordinator and the fact that very few competent coaches want to work with Randy Shannon - whose reputation of being paranoid and controlling of assistants is becoming common knowledge.  Oh yeah . . . and of course, lest I forget, offensive coaches must be afraid of those juggernaut ACC defenses.  They’re probably crapping their pants.

But not to be outdone by Ferman is our own fellow blogger ALLCANES who in his thinly veiled bash UF post “The BCS gives you this year’s SHAMpion…” (Like the title couldn’t clue us in) lashes out indirectly at all things Gator.  Allcanes states (in a follow up comment) that “The old system ‘worked’ because there was less competition. You had your top teams, they made the big bowl games and things usually worked themselves out with little controversy.“  Yes, you heard it right.  A Miami Hurricane believes the PRE-BCS system was far superior to the current system. 

I guess if you won 3 of your 4 “pre-BCS” championship games in matchups consisting of #1 vs. #5, #2 vs #7, #1 vs. #11 then I could see how that makes sense.  All this “One versus Two” stuff is not good for the Canes.  For example, in their three #1 vs. #2 national title matchups the Canes lost twice (Penn State, Ohio State) while their win was against perhaps the weakest #2 team of the BCS era (Nebraska in 2001).  Lest I forget to point out that they lost despite being HUGE favorites in both of those games which were either two of the biggest choke jobs by a favorite or two of the greatest underdog performances in modern football - depending on your point of view.  I’ll take the former.

Not to leave any doubt of his being under the influence of drugs, Allcanes goes on to make some additional brilliant statements:

Truth be told, the spread offense is ruining the college game. It’s great if you’re a Gator and you just won another mythical national championship, but it’s nonsense if you’re an outsider who simply wanted to to enjoy an exciting finale against the supposed “nation’s best”.

Despite being a tied game it’s not surprising that Allcanes didn’t find it exciting.  Who could forget the exciting Miami-Nebraska game, the lowest rated game in BCS history.  Yessiree Bob . . . now that’s first class excitement!!!  Was it because of the scoring?  Is that what made the 14-10 Penn State Miami game a boring game?  Or maybe because it was the Canes that was one of those rare “defensive gems”.  What do you want to bet we won’t hear Allcane complaining about that 20-14 Miami victory over Oklahoma in 1988 with the phrase “BOOOOORRRRRING!!!”  Of course now . . . *cough* hypocrite *cough*

Bring back the traditional balanced attack the game employed the past few decades. College football used to be a mini-version of the NFL. These days, it bears a closer resemblance to a game of Madden between frat brothers and for the first time in my life, I’d rather watch the NFL Playoffs than the college football’s bowl season.

Hey, here’s an idea then.  Go watch the NFL then?  I mean seriously . . . WTF?  He likes college because it reminds him of the NFL?  Has he ever heard of the Dolphins?  They play in the same stadium, from now on just go to games a day later.  I guess I also missed the all those seasons in the 80s when the NFL ran the option like all the Nebraska and Oklahoma teams Miami won their Championships against.

I’m sorry, but college football is a sham when your national champion has no ground game and running backs. A quarterback who doubles as a fullback and a wideout who doubles as a running back? That’s horrible.

Sour grapes anyone?  They have a lot of them for sale at AllCanes!  Hey, just because Percy Harvin is better than any running back you have on your team plus twice as good as any WIDE RECEIVER your team has is no reason to start crying in public.  What’s horrible is that Florida had two of the greatest players in the country while Miami’s roster is stacked with future Arena Football League rejects.  Still, that’s no reason to be a hater.

Gator Nation benefitted twice now from a shoddy system. A handful of other teams arguably deserved your spot this year and in 2006, a computer put you in the big game instead of Michigan.

Yes, yes, Allcanes.  I’ve read your dribble propping Utah as the legitimate National Champion.  And your claim that USC would beat Florida by 3 touchdowns.  We’ve heard it all before.  Perhaps your fellow Hurricane readers are doing some of the same smack as you seem to be.  Speaking of smack . . . did you catch that UF-Miami game in week 2?  Shannon was right, that game helped you more than we’ll ever know.  Because as all eyes in Florida were focused on Gainesville, apparently a giant shipment of Columbian Nose Candy was making port in the city of Miami.  Get it while you can Cane fans, viva la Randy Shannon!!! 

I think someone has decided to give Gary Ferman a run for that award after all!