Written by a sad soul on Warchant, the FSU message board:

Subject: Why are we here?

“Either we are the true FSU diehards, or just masochists. The number of times we’ve been kicked in the stomach as FSU fans the last couple years is unbelieveable. I mean it’s hard to even comprehend. What do we have, 8 scholarship OL from the last FOUR recruiting classes combined? Does our #3 ranked ‘06 class even crack the top 30 anymore?? Who is our best player? Do we have anybody left on our team that strikes fear in an opponent? Do we have any depth whatsoever? How about leadership? Or better yet, leadership from the coaching staff? This is beyond asinine.”

And here is where “nole96″ cranks his lament into overdrive.

“I wouldn’t wish what we’ve had to go through on our most hated rivals. I can’t even remember the last truly positive thing that happened to FSU football. I keep thinking we hit rock bottom, then we sink deeper. What will it be next? And will it be tomorrow?”

Indeed. What will tomorrow bring for what is our most hated rival? At the rate things are going… nothing good.

A quick look back on what brought the ‘Noles to this point:
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From the mailbag, the father of Gatorpilot writes:

Found this story.

As he leaned back in his garnet leather office chair and chewed on an unlit cigar, Bowden matter-of-factly said he would like to increase his win total from 373 to 400 games and, perhaps, win another national championship before he officially hands his job over to Fisher — in other words, resurrect his once proud program that failed to finish in the national rankings for the past two seasons.

“I’d sure like to,” he said. “And if it doesn’t, I ought to get out.”

At 7 wins a year that is 4 more years! Hooray!

This just in: FSU has responded to its academic cheating scandal by trying to police itself. Measures include reducing scholarships in all sports, firing guilty staffers, and requiring all AD administrators and non-administrators to attend a four-hour class in “responsible decision-making” There is even talk of a number of guilty students suffering a loss or reduction in their eligibility.

Don’t get me wrong, my inner Gator gets a demented pleasure out of seeing Free Shoes U. suffer for its crimes, but I’m concerned that what the school is doing vacillates between noble and disturbing. A big reason: the way Noles athletics is structured within the university.

Florida State’s athletic department is considered a division of the school itself and gets money from the university’s coffers. But it’s structure, while widespread, is not universal; UF’s University Athletic Association is considered a private business and generates its own revenue. While this may seem trite, a self-disciplinary policy would have vastly different effects depending on the school receiving sanctions.

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This is borderline schadenfreude, because I’m not sure it really positively impacts UF, but it is fun nonetheless: Xavier Lee is finally giving up on the Seminoles after 3 rocky years in Tallahassee.

Lee’s father, Willie, told the Sentinel Sunday that his son decided to leave the program when FSU coaches informed him that he would no longer play quarterback. According to Willie Lee, Seminoles offensive coordinator Jimbo Fisher recently asked Xavier Lee to move to tight end.

Now, say what you want about the “Saint in Tallahasseee” wasting talent, but Xavier Lee made one big play for every five foibles. While it’s possible that his development was less than optimal, it seems likely the dude just wasn’t very good.

Here’s what really kills me:

Willie Lee said his son, a redshirt junior, will not transfer to another school and instead will prepare for a probable invitation to the NFL Scouting Combine, where Lee will hope to catch the notice of scouts and improve his stock for the NFL draft.

“Can’t blame him, man,” Willie Lee said of his son’s decision to leave school. “What else is he going to do — sit around there and watch other kids go ahead of him?”

Actually, I can blame him, Willie. That’s just flat out insane. Play horribly off the bench for three years and then forego a final year of eligibility for the Combine? Homeboy has lost his mind.

Lee’s only shot is to transfer to another school, sit out for a year, and hope for a monster senior year performance. It’s a long, long, long shot, but it’s his only shot.

The real schadenfreude here is that we’re almost certain to face Drew Weatherford yet again in the 2008 season… possibly the weakest QB ever to suit up in garnet and gold. Ha!

P.S. Side note: if you hadn’t already heard, Cornelius Ingram changed his mind and will return for his senior season after all. Yin and yang, light and dark, an’ all that.

Apparently things have become so bad in Tallacrappy that one website has decided to take a new approach. Nate Greer is one of the hacks over at NoleDigest.com who, when not covering recruiting, likes to normally focus on such delusionally sappy and slanted topics like “FSU’s Future is Bright” or “FLORIDA STATE WILL REBOUND“. You know, the typical team propaganda that you would expect from a biased website paid for by FSU supporters. College fans are like the general population: they would rather hear good things than the truth. Greer is a strong disciple of the “I would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism” theology.

Unfortunately, things in Bowdenville have taken a turn and gone from “bad” to “worse“. With the omnipresent specter of NCAA sanctions, coaching confusion/senility and an overall lack of leadership, both players and fans alike are filled with a sense of dread regarding the future of the program. When there are simply no longer any credible facts or plausible opinions to support the misguided belief that cherry pies and sunshine await around the bend there’s only one option left . . . . attack someone else! The best target to unite your fan base would be to attack a rival whom you desperately yearn to be like; a program whose recent accomplishments feed your own insecurity and lack of self worth. And for FSU that target is obvious – The University of Florida.

So what things do they have to say about Titletown USA? Well, from “Is Florida One to Judge?”

Friday afternoon we briefly spoke to E.J. about the article that came out from that infamous site FSU fans are aware of (Gatorcountry.com). When asked about it, Manuel said, “Man, some guys came up to me and just said they were reporters. They asked me about the scandal and I told them my thoughts. I had no idea they were from a Florida site. Had I known that I would have stayed away from that. I know the FSU fan base doesn’t like the Gators.” It looks like Manuel was taken advantage of. To his knowledge, it was just another reporter trying to get an update with him. He was emphatic in apologizing, but it looks as though he isn’t the one who should be apologizing; it’s the unscrupulous, grubby reporters looking for information based off lies and untruth.

To give people some background on this. Previously Gatorcountry.com had conducted an interview with EJ Manuel at one of the High School All-America Game camps. The article posted by Gatorcountry is available only to subscribers but in synopsis it basically describes Manuel as a very polite and unassuming young man who has all the tools of a high caliber quarterback. After a few generic platitudes regarding his season and some benign quotes Manuel was asked what he thought about the current academic scandal. EJ stated that the FSU coaches had set him straight. The Nole Coaches assured Manuel that all this academic cheating had happened about THREE YEARS AGO and had NO IMPACT on the people there now.

Manuel continues to say that the FSU Coaches told him there were actually about EIGHT HUNDRED STUDENTS involved but (of course with FSU being the bastion of academic integrity and NCAA compliance that it is) they were SINGLING OUT THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS!!! Manuel admits he was concerned at first but now he’s solid to the Seminoles. And THIS is what Noledigest considers “unscrupulous, grubby reporters looking for information based off lies and untruth“??? Ummm . . . a direct quote from a kid regarding what coaches told him is now labeled ‘unscrupulous reporting’? (more…)

Now that we’re back from our short holiday break, it’s time to finally pay some attention to those woeful ‘Noles and their scandalistic ways.

The FSU academic cheating story broke first in September. To their credit, I suppose, Florida State University self-reported the misdoings of their student-athletes, who were apparently cheating in online tests for a 3-hour music history class.

FSU was masterful their initial handling of this “delicate issue.” They carefully and gently broke the story; Bobby Bowden downplayed the significance of the scandal, as he is always wont to do. T.K. Wetherell reported that “an internal investigation failed to find conclusive evidence of a more widespread pattern of cheating.” In the midst of a college football season filled with upsets and surprises, it really did seem like a relatively minor issue.

For awhile.

Then word grew that the number of student-athletes involved was more than a handful. We started seeing tickers running on ESPN saying that up to 23 players could be implicated, and that a system — also known as a ‘widespread pattern’ — of cheating was in place at the university. A tutor was writing papers for players, and also arranging for students not enrolled in the course to take tests on the players’ behalf.
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Bianchi writes:

The pregame trash talking from Hayes turned into a postgame nightmare for Florida State. Hayes wouldn’t talk to reporters afterward and got into a profanity-laced verbal altercation with Associated Press writer Brent Kallestad before UF Athletic Director Jeremy Foley stepped in as the peacemaker. Hayes couldn’t bring down Tebow as he predicted, but, hey, he nearly took down a 62-year-old wire-service reporter.

Did anyone notice? At one point in the 2nd quarter, Geno Hayes was lying on the ground near Tebow after a play was over. Tebow walked over to Hayes and outstretched his arm, offering to help Hayes to his feet. This was after Hayes had already tried to “stare Tebow down” by mashing his facemask into Tebow’s helmet.
Hayes slapped Tebow’s arm away.

Real class. That’s Geno Hayes. That’s FSU.

For the record, Bobby Bowden didn’t have any problem with Hayes’ pre-game comments about Tebow. I’m paraphrasing, here, from Bowden’s post-game audio:

“What did he say? That we have to stop him to win? Isn’t that what he said?” The room, filled with FSU beat writers, responded with not a small amount of sarcasm, “No, he said ‘Tebow’s going down’.” Bowden chuckled and said, “Well, wasn’t he right? To win, we would have had to have done that. Wasn’t he right?”

And Bianchi must think highly of Bowden because he generously changed one of Bowden’s more eccentric remarks.

“That bulletin-board material doesn’t bother me,” Bowden said when reporters asked him about Hayes’ pregame comments. “I don’t think it bothered Tebow, either, do ya’ll?”

Nice, but what Bowden really said was “black boy stuff“. As in, “That black boy stuff doesn’t bother me.” The post-game audio was posted at Warchant.com, but has since been removed.

Some have postulated that Bowden might have said “black board stuff”, which doesn’t really make sense either, but if you have a chance to listen for yourself, you’ll hear that he says “black boy stuff” clear as day.

Again, classy.

Ed. note: as Gatorhippy pointed out in the Comments section (below), Bowden did in fact say ‘black board,’ not ‘black boy’. On the audio source I listened to first at warchant.com, there’s no question that it sounds just like ‘black boy’. However, in the Sun Sports post-game video, Bowden’s mouth clearly shaped the word ‘board’, not ‘boy’. I apologize for the error.

When the head coach has no problem with his players threatening to hurt kids on the opposing team… and when players are so far removed from any vestige of sportsmanship, you know you’re talking about a program that’s rotten and corrupt at its core.

And that’s the one, the only, Florida State University.

‘Nole fans, we look forward to seeing you next year in Tallahassee.

Left: bad quarterback. Right: decent quarterback.
Not pictured: Heisman-quality quarterback.

There’s a first time for everything.

I once said that if FSU was playing Bin Laden’s Jihadsquad that I’d be whirling my turban-cloth over my head and shouting “Destroy the infidels!” until the final play of the game.

As it turns out, my standard for vile hatred is lower than I thought.

We all know that FSU has been irrelevant in the national picture ever since Ron Zook christened Bobby Bowden Field in 2004. Ironically, their terrible play has transformed the joy of watching the Seminoles lose. When they flail around helplessly, tanking in another game to another unranked opponent, it is no longer the joyful event it once was.

Now, it’s commonplace. Although it’s still enjoyable, it’s like good music in the background: you’re aware of it and perhaps even humming along subsconsciously, but not really paying any attention to it.

But last night FSU played #2 (ha!) Boston College. I knew going in this was going to be tough: for one, Boston College has that walk-on kicker story which is always fun. Two, no one really cares about them including their own fans, so it’s fun to watch them beat “powerhouse” programs.

But BC had to lose if for no other reason to prevent a mockery of the BCS title game, a scenario in which the weakest #1 (Ohio State) and #2 (then BC) in the history of the college football would have squared off to crown a “national champion”.

There’s another reason, too: Matt Ryan.

He annoys me. Not because he’s a bad kid or even a bad quarterback. He’s decent. But look: this guy is not that good. Certainly he’s not Heisman good. ESPN, ABC, and some other pundits list him as a first-rounder. I think it shows how little attention they pay to the actual games rather than stats and records.

BC’s best win of the year is their last second, lucky-ass win over Va Tech, the same team who LSU annihilated 49-7 early in the season. Other than that, they played Notre Dame, Bowling Green, NC State, Massachusetts, Army… some real humdingers there.

This was never a Top 10 team. I’m not sure they’re even a Top 20 team.

Write it down and look me up later, because this is an unpopular opinion right now: Matt Ryan is not first-round draft material. I’m not sure he’d be drafted anywhere prior to the 3rd round. I watch this guy and flatly wonder whether any pro team will pick him up.

And it was galling to think that Ryan was seriously a lead Heisman Trophy candidate over our own Tim Tebow.

Ryan’s a sub-60% passer who’s thrown 21 touchdowns and 11 INTs. His QB rating is a decent 129.5. Meanwhile, Tim Tebow is a 68% passer, has thrown 21 TDs to 4 INTs, and — oh yeah — has rushed for an additional 14 touchdowns. His QB rating is 179.1 and, just to shut up the folks who made the “glorified fullback” comments when he was national championship backup in 2006, he leads the NCAA in passing efficiency. As in, #1, the best in the country, and he does it against some of the best teams in the country too.

So this Matt Ryan for Heisman talk just had to stop. The only thing going for Ryan is that he’s a senior and BC’s won a bunch of games against terrible teams. That FSU, a truly terrible team in their own right, was able to beat BC 27-17 just shows how obviously overrated they, and Ryan, really were.

I rooted for FSU, and I am ashamed. But it was for the greater Gator good. Tebow is now right back in the Heisman mix, the BC fad is over, and in a weird way, this even helps our strength of schedule — now we get FSU in the Swamp, who beat the #2 (ha! ha! ha!) team in the country before coming into our house for their own beatdown.

After watching Wake Forest defeat Florida State, it made me think back to their loss to Clemson and Miami’s loss to North Carolina. I began to ponder on something: some of the biggest losses that Florida teams have endured recently seem to be at the hands of teams from the Carolinas. Some of these include the 30-0 crushing and embarrassing home loss of FSU to Wake last year. There was also Florida’s 30-23 loss to South Carolina in 2005 which cost the Gators the SEC East title. The Miami Hurricanes of 2003 started the season 6-0 and were ranked 3rd in the nation before inexplicably suffering back to back losses against North Carolina and Clemson – this point essentially marked the beginning of the end for Head Coach Larry Coker.

Florida has an approximate population of 18 million and an area of 65,800 square miles. The Carolinas (North and South) has a combined population of 13 million and area of 88,600 square miles. There are 4 BCS conference schools in the State of Florida (UF, FSU, UM, USF) and 6 in the Carolinas (WFU, Duke, UNC, NCSU, Clemson, South Carolina). And recently the football between these two states has been quite ferocious. Using the BCS schools in each state I examined the head to head matchups in the past 3+ years (starting in 2004) to see if there is a noticeable decline in Florida football power or perhaps an improvement in the Carolina schools.

In this analysis I discovered the following. Currently the State of Florida enjoys a 21-14 (win-loss) advantage in direct competition. HOWEVER, if you remove Duke from the equation (one of the most consistent losers in all of Division 1 football) the current standings are 15-14 (Florida-Carolinas) in a virtual dead heat. What makes this so shocking is the background of these regions. Florida is a state known for big time college football and prep football talent. Florida colleges have 9 national titles and have dozens of former players littering NFL rosters. The Carolinas have exactly 1 National Title (Clemson in 1981) and a fraction of the NFL litany the Florida schools enjoy. But if anything, this dominance seems to be retreating as this regional rivalry heats up.

Individual school totals since 2004

- Univ of Florida 2-1 (with the South Carolina game remaining which will likely be the toughest remaining game on the Gators’ schedule this year)
- Univ of Miami 9-3 (1-1 so far this year in splitting with NC and Duke with NCSU remaining on the schedule)
- Florida State Univ 8-8 (1-2 so far this year Duke remaining on the slate)
- Univ of South Florida 2-2 (1-0 this year. Both wins were against UNC while losses were to South Carolina and NCSU) (more…)

Wake Forest now owns a two-game winning streak over the Seminoles.  I know I swore off FSU schadenfreude earlier in the season, but this is just too awesome not to share:

Yep, there you see one of those clever Wake Forest players celebrating the Deacons’ 24-21 over the ‘Noles in classic fashion.

FSU, we thank you for making Thursday night football games enjoyable again.  That will be all.